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#2608 Daddy Likes Ugg Australia

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On Friday last week, Jenny Albright and I, aka Daddy Likes, deejayed at the Ugg Australia Fashion Week event held at The Lincoln Center, aka NYFW HQ, and it was a good time. We've been deejaying together for a few months now, mainly at nightclubs and hotels around New York City, and our musical style can only be described as TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!? So from 4-6pm on Friday, as waiters carried around trays of tiny ice cream cones filled with tuna tartare, and chicken meatballs with truffle oil-infused aioli; and bloggers, TV stars and a steady stream of show-goers tried on the new season Ugg footwear styles; we blasted out a set that included such classics as Fantasy by Ludacris, How Do U Want It by 2Pac, Forever by Drake,, and A Mili by Lil Wayne. Plus Partition. Three times. I wore Ugg's Kolman sneakers for the event, and if you're looking for a great pair of leather low-tops that'll keep your feet warm for winter, I'd highly recommend them — they come sheepskin-lined for your walking pleasure.




I'm wearing: Gant Rugger jacket; Commoners t-shirt; 3X1 jeans; and Ugg Australia Kolman sneakers.

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#2609 New York Fashion Week With A Disposable Camera

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Dapper Lou

A few years ago I decided that I didn't want to carry a proper camera around with me every day, which is a bit of a conundrum when you're a one-man-shop, but then I discovered that I could still get some killer fashion week shots with a simple $12 disposable camera, and that everybody loves posing for a disposable camera, so for the last few seasons that's exactly what I've done. And here we are today. This New York Fashion Week I carried two around with me. This is the first, the second is in the shop right now getting developed. As you'll see from this camera, I took it with me to a couple of shows, but to a lot of parties at Up & Down (these shots are from five different nights there over a week or so). I'm pretty sure the next one will have some more fashion-specific type stuff, but who's to say. The results, below!


We found this toilet on the side of the street in the East Village. I've never seen Anthony Urbano so excited in all the time I've known him.


Deevee Kashi running the show at Up & Down.


Adam Gallagher and his mate crossing 10th Ave.


Helena and Ljubo at Up & Down.


Ian Jones showing off his sushi rolls at the Issey Miyake fragrance event.


Abs at Jack Spade.


Sweet navy suit at Jack Spade.


Jenny Albright in the East Village.


Photographer Joachim Johnson at Up & Down.


Complex's Jian DeLeon and Four Pins' Lawrence Schlossman before Jack Spade.


Ljubo in my living room.


McArthur Joseph in the Meatpacking District.


Cute baby in Chelsea.


Hanging with Cedric Marian Alexander and Ophelie Guillermand at Up & Down.


Cedric and Ophelie at Up & Down.


Reena Roy, Natalia and Ellen Toland at Up & Down.


Me and Rose Smith, also at Up & Down.


Sid Ellisdon spraying himself with the new Issey Miyake fragrance at the event.


Streetstyle photographer on 11th Ave.


Tommy Ton outside the Perry Ellis show.


Bruce Pask and Josh Peskowitz at the Perry Ellis show.

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#2610 The NYFW Q&A — Aerosyn-Lex Mestrovic At The Lincoln Center

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Aerosyn-Lex Mestrovic

You know those dudes who seem to be on a constant winning streak? Artist Aerosyn-Lex is very much one of those dudes. Not only has he collaborated with everyone from Kanye to Nike, but in a two-day period this fashion week he launched a New York City map project with Rodarte, and he created the prints for Public School's SS15 collection. I caught him in between shows at the Lincoln Center, and gave him my rapid-fire questionnaire. Here's what he had to say for himself.

What do you say when people ask you what you do?
I'm an artist here in New York, and I work primarily with music, fashion and fine art.

What have you been working on recently?
I've worked quite a bit with Kenzo, with Kanye West and his creative team, with brands like Nike, I've just shown my paintings at MOMA recently, I was commissioned by the BBC to direct a short film which came out last year, and here at New York Fashion Week I just launched a collaboration with Rodarte yesterday, and I'm collaborating with the brand Public School on some prints for their show. (Ed's note: Vogue later described those prints as a, "swirling blue motif [which] made its way across breezy collarless silk shirts and elongated blazers.")

Impressive! Welcome to the rapid fire round. You ready?
Let's do this.

Kanye or Drake?
Kanye.

Why?
Cos he paid me more money.

Rihanna or Beyonce?
Beyonce.

What's your favourite Instagram account?
My Mom's.

Can you drive?
Yeah.

Do you text while driving?
Yeah.

What's your worst habit?
Cookies.

Who's your favourite model?
Good question. Jourdan Dunn.

Favourite New York show venue?
Milk Studios.

Favourite bar or restaurant in New York?
Angel's Share.

Song you listened to most this summer?
What was that... Oh — Yukihiro Takahashi. The song was called Drip Dry Eyes.

What's the cheapest thing you're wearing?
American Apparel undershirt.

What's the most expensive thing you're wearing?
Probably my Rado watch.

Who was the last person you called?
My Mom.

Great night dancing or sophisticated dinner conversation?
Dirty night dancing.

After last week's iCloud scandal, are you thinking twice about storing slash sending out naked photographs?
100%. Nothing in the Cloud. Nothing in the Cloud. Snapchat that sh*t.

Complete this sentence: The best thing about New York Fashion Week is...
The girls.

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#2611 Should I Get Into An Open/Polyamorous Relationship?

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Another week, another Good Question. An anonymous young lady asks: So I just met a guy who is polyamorous and has multiple girlfriends. He's super open and honest about them, so I feel a bit confused because on one hand it feels wrong to go out with him but on the other hand it feels somewhat refreshing that he's so open about it! I've never been in a relationship before, so I'm not sure if it's healthy to begin my first relationship with someone who will not be exclusive to me... but he's really sweet and I like him a lot. I'm so confused. Thoughts? To answer the question, I enlisted the help of my old mate Katherine Lowe from Katherine is Awesome who is in town right now with her stellar boyfriend Ben and her equally awesome brother James. Go the Kiwis!

A quick disclaimer before you watch: We answered this question before I looked up the official definition of the word polyamorous, so I was thinking more along the lines of an open relationship of the sexual variety than one where somebody is equally committed to multiple partners. So keep that in mind when you're watching, but I think my opinion is the same either way.

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#2612 Casually Breaking All The Rules

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Shot with a disposable camera on the corner of East 5th Street and Avenue A, NYC.

I come from a country where there's no such thing as style rules. There's no only wearing black suits to weddings and funerals, or only wearing jandals/thongs/flip-flops to the beach, or only wearing rugby shorts while actively participating in the game of rugby. White jeans are almost non-existent, so the thought of only being allowed to wear them between the summer months of May and August seems a little precious. Needless to say I'm still wearing mine (from 3X1), and recently I've been pairing them with my favourite white t-shirt (courtesy of the fine gentlemen at Old Soldier), and my favourite white Chuck Taylors. I like how it brings out my tan. If Puff Daddy ever invites me to one of his famous white parties, I've got my outfit sorted. Finally, a quick note on cleaning white jeans, for the uninitiated: I fill my bathtub with cold water, pour in a heavy splash of bleach and some laundry detergent, and let them soak for about an hour, then rinse them off, hang them up, and they're good to go all over again. Easy.

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#2613 The Facts Of Life

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Jenny Albright, Ben Lawson, your mate, Katherine Lowe and Corinna Studier at the Lorde concert.

1. Mates! It's been such a long time since I did one of these bad boys, but I guess I got sidetracked with outfit posts and answering relationship questions and deejaying and everything else that I just never got round to writing a new edition of The Facts Of Life, and you know how it is when you're so close to the forest that all you can see is the trees, and you're so busy doing the day-to-day work that you can't seem to think about what's coming up tomorrow, and now I'm all out of excuses, so here we are today.

2. First, a life update. It's been an interesting few months here in New York. I have what some psychiatric specialists might call a 'compulsive personality' meaning that when I do something I tend to do it with the enthusiasm of a born-again vegan, and I realised that my partying was getting to the point where it seemed like another full-time job (meaning I was out so many nights per week that I was probably sleeping approximately one quarter as much as I should have been), so in June, after coming back from New Zealand, I decided to cut down on my nighttime activities. Part of my problem has always been FOMO, but guess what: Life continued. Since then, I've found myself to be far more productive, far less irritable, and far more emotionally stable (knock on wood), and I would recommend it to anybody who feels like their work/life balance is spinning dangerously out of control.

3. New York Fashion Week came and went and brought with it a whole series of adventures and events and international visitors. I didn't go to as many shows this time round as I usually do, but I did get to interview a bunch of exciting people (Tiesto being my favourite), hang out with my old mates Katherine and James Lowe, and Jenny Albright and I (aka Daddy Likes) deejayed our first corporate event, for Ugg Australia, at The Lincoln Center. Exciting times.

4. I also just discovered my two new favourite TV shows: Bojack Horseman and The Blacklist. The first is a black comedy cartoon about a washed-up 90s actor who's going through a midlife crisis — it's hilarious and delightfully crass; the second is about an internationally renowned criminal who comes back to the United States in order to assist the FBI but really in order to assist himself to rid the world of a series of bad guys who've wound up on his black list — it's clever and suspenseful and it stars James Spader so you know it's good.

5. On another note entirely, I'm constantly meeting people who say this thing to me that I never really understand: "I don't believe in God, but I'm so into spirituality." This doesn't make sense to me because to the best of my knowledge, God is just a word that means a higher power, and spirituality is all about tapping into that higher power, so what's the difference? Anybody? I don't care if you're religious or not, atheist or agnostic or a full-blown believer. What's the GD difference?

6. My blog is getting a design overhaul! It's been a longtime coming, but next week (knock on wood) I'm switching things over to Wordpress, and re-launching with an updated logo. There's an extremely high possibility that something will go wrong in the process, so if it does please bear with me.

7. In case you were wondering, the song I've been listening to more than any other song for the past few weeks has been Not In Love by Crystal Castles feat. Robert Smith of The Cure. It has this line in it that I cannot get over: "We were lovers, now we can't be friends." The truth to that statement is palpable. PALPABLE. Gets me every time.

8. Drinking two cups of coffee at 7pm is not conducive to getting to sleep at an appropriate hour, but apparently it is great for writing blog posts. Who knew?

9. Thank you to everyone for reading and commenting and emailing, don't forget to keep sending your questions in here!

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#2614 The Alex Drexler Q&A

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Alex Drexler from Alex Mill.

There are two boutique menswear brands that I think are killing the game right now — the first is La Paz from Portugal; the second is Alex Mill from New York. I stumbled upon Alex Mill's first NYC outpost on Elizabeth Street about a year ago, and was so taken by the vintage look and feel of his slubby, textured cottons that I googled the brand on my cellphone right then and there and proceeded to geek out like a complete nerd. A few months later I got in touch with Alex Drexler, the label's founder, and shot this outfit post featuring product from his spring/summer collection, and last week I emailed him and asked if he'd care to sit down for an interview. If you recognise his surname, it's because his father is Mickey Drexler (dubbed 'The Man Who Dressed America') — the gentleman who steered Gap into every American closet, and who is now responsible for the juggernaut that is J.Crew. This afternoon in SoHo I spoke with Alex Drexler about his Dad, the merits of manufacturing offshore, his love for minute menswear details, and his collaboration with the Japanese label Omnigod, which launches tomorrow. Here goes:

How did you get started in the menswear business?
For the last seven or eight years I've been working in production — I worked for Andrew Rosen, and I worked for Steven Alan. Originally I went to law school, I wanted to be an FBI agent or a district attorney, but I realized that I wasn't going to be able to make it through law school, so I dropped out and went to clothing. I never really wanted to get into clothing to be honest with you, but it was in my blood.

Did your dad help you get your first job?
I tried to never rely on my father for too much, but I feel like having Drexler as my last name helped me get my foot in the door. But you know how it is with clothing, if it doesn't fit and it doesn't look good, then nobody really cares.

Was he happier with the idea of you getting into law or you getting into clothing?
He wanted me to be happy.


How long in the making was Alex Mill?
We spent a year and a half or so concepting it — the logo, the details, all the little things that went into it — then we launched with Odin and Barneys and about 25 stores, and we opened our own store at the same time.

How many of you are working on the brand?
There's like six or seven of us. It's very small.

Where does the Mill in the name come from?
Mill stands for quality.

Was it a conscious decision to drop Drexler in the brand name?
The line was never a designer name. It was never about me, it was about Alex Mill.

So is Alex Mill a guy?
No, it's just a name.


I read that Andrew Rosen is your mentor in the business, what have you learned from him?
Andrew's specialty is production and merchandising, and all the little details — negotiating with factories, costing etc. Before I started Alex Mill I worked for him on a line called Gryphon for five years, and Andrew is very hands-on. We went to India a lot, and all that gave me my background in production and manufacturing. I feel like if you start a company and you don't know how to make things, then where are you?

Where do you make most of your product?
We do some in America and some in Asia. We have a lot of intricate details in our shirts, and it's very hard to get all these details — (picks up one of his shirts) this shirt has been washed for an hour and a half, it's brushed on the inside, it has our signature embroidered X, it has special buttons — it's not easy to do this in America. We went where the right manufacturing resources are to make what we're looking to do.

That's interesting because I feel like people always think Made in America signifies higher quality in manufacturing.
It's not so easy to do a lot of our detailing in America. But I don't think it matters where it's made as long as it's the right quality. For me it's all about our fabrics. That's really important, too — it doesn't matter if it's made in Japan, if it's made in New Zealand, or America — if you don't have really nice fabrics, nobody's really interested in wearing it.


That was the first thing that attracted me to your shop — the fabrics and textures. How do you find your fabrics? I don't feel like I'm finding a lot of these cloths from anyone else.
We don't really use stock fabrics. We use a lot of individual custom fabrics, we make our own prints, our fabrics are washed, they're brushed, they're enzyme washed, there are all these custom things we do. Our fabrics are from Japan and India and the US, they're from everywhere.

Tell me about the Omnigod collab — how did that come about?
Omnigod is a company that carries our product in Japan, they're a Japanese leader in denim and textiles, they reached out in our first season, and it started from there. The Japanese always wanna know what's new.

What are the advantages of working with a company like Omnigod?
It's interesting to work with them because I always learn a lot from the Japanese. They have a unique way of looking at things. They're experts at denim, their shirts have a customised orange selvedge edge, and I'm just learning about how it works. I always wanna keep learning more about textiles and fabrics.

What's yours and what's theirs in the collab?
The shape is theirs and we chose the fabrics and detailing, and then they made it.


On a completely different tack, what's the best piece of relationship advice you've ever been given?
Have space. That's an obvious piece of relationship advice. That said, my girlfriend works with me on Alex Mill, but we do have space (laughs).

Have you had any famous customers since you started out?
Eric Clapton is a customer, Paul Dano just wore Alex Mill this week, John Krasinski, the lead singer from MGMT wears it.

Who's your dream customer?
Bruce Weber, I think he has great style and he's super cool, and Peter Beard... I love photography, so those guys wearing Alex Mill would be cool.

Final question: Would you consider yourself to be a perfectionist?
I'm very particular on the details.

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#2615 Primary Colours, Secondary Nature

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Hey gidday mates. I catch the bus from my apartment to Union Square every day, and on my journey I pass this building on the corner of 11th Street and Avenue C, and every once in a while that building is completely painted over and within a day, the walls are covered with a brand spanking new piece of artwork. Last month it was a rastafarian lion; once it was a bunch of interlocking faces; this month it's a giant wave, probably because #surfbort. It adds a little spark of excitement to my early morning commute.


You might notice that the collar of this button-down oxford is exceptionally cut and proportioned, and that's because it's based on the original Brooks Brothers button-down collar from way, way back in the day, which is widely considered to be the only collar that matters by purists of the Ivy League look. This bad boy comes from Kamakura, my new favourite shirt-maker, and at just under $80 a pop they're not exactly cheap, but they're not bank-breaking, either. I'm planning to swap out all my Uniqlo button-downs for Kamakura versions over the coming months, they're that good.


The navy sportcoat is by Brooks Brothers Black Fleece, and features that sweet 2/3 button rolled lapel. I've never actually worn it before today. It's way boxier than I'm used to, but I'm slowly getting used to it.


The mustard yellow cardigan comes from Gant Rugger, it's 100% wool, and it's my aaaaabsolute jam.


If you're a longtime reader you'll recognise the 3X1 jeans and Mark McNairy bucks; the belt is by my mate Maximum Henry, the tie is Crane Brothers, and the socks are from Clapham.


And finally, here's me and Jenny Albright hanging out on our second favourite coffee ledge in New York City, at Ninth Street Espresso on the corner of Ave C and 9th Street. First favourite is the bench outside La Colombe on Lafayette — couldn't recommend it more highly.

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#2616 What To Do If You Run Into Your Ex At A Bar?

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Heyyyyyy gidday mates. This week's question deals with that often unavoidable, typically awkward, and always upsetting conundrum: What do you do if you're out with your friends and you run into your ex? And you're not really that over your ex? Or you still feel really angry with your ex? Or your heart has been smashed into a million pieces by your ex? Or, God forbid, they're on a date with someone else!? To assist with the answering, I asked my good friend Anthony Urbano, the blogger behind Closet Freaks, to share his thoughts. Check it out, above!

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#2617 Disposable Camera Portraits Feat. Stella Maxwell, Nat Wolff, Tiesto, et al

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Stella Maxwell on the corner of Houston and Lafayette Streets, SoHo.

Like I mentioned the other day, I shot two full cameras' worth of photographs over the course of New York Fashion Week; you've seen the first, now here's about two thirds of the second, featuring a bunch of portraits of people I like, love, am obsessed with, am intrigued by, or just found interesting in the moment. No more words are required, just take a look.


Mordechai Rubinstein at The Lincoln Center.


Nat Wolff at the Lacoste show.


Jenny Albright and me at the Ugg event.


Tom Offenberger, Uptown.


Ljubo at Up & Down.


A model at the Samantha Ronson presentation.


Tiesto at the Lacoste show.


Kyle Anderson, Accessories Director at Marie Claire, at The Lincoln Center.


Jenny Albright on the corner of 5th Street and Avenue A, Alphabet City.

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#2618 The Facts Of Life

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My favourite New York tree, on the corner of 9th Street and Avenue C, Alphabet City.

1. So I don't often talk about politics, but it was the New Zealand election last Saturday, and for the first time (possibly) ever, our little slice of paradise made international news for the controversy surrounding the campaign. First up, the leader's party (National) was accused of corrupt behaviour in a book that came out just weeks before the election; second, Kim Dot Com, the large German man behind Mega Upload (who potentially bought his New Zealand citizenship) started his own political party (named The Internet Party, no less) and held a press conference at which Edward Snowden revealed that the National Party had been spying on Kiwi computers for ages despite insisting they hadn't; and finally, the National Party got into even more trouble for using Eminem's song Lose Yourself — allegedly without permission — in one of their campaign videos. So much controversy, so little time! Regardless of the setbacks, the National Party still won the election by the biggest margin in 90-odd years, which just goes to show that there literally is no such thing as bad publicity. And also that maybe democracy isn't such a good idea after all?

2. Who's got the new iPhone 6? I'm getting mine in the next week or so. Definitely the straight 6 (the other one is way too big IMO), and definitely in space grey. I played with one yesterday, and the camera is amazing — I'm looking forward to being able to take Instagram photos on my own phone instead of borrowing everyone else's and then texting myself the shots. True story.

3. Did you see the Kirsten Dunst #selfie short film Matthew Frost directed for Vs Magazine? It's pretty good. My favourite of his is still Une Fille Comme Les Autres starring Ashley Smith, but this one's well worth a watch.

4. “In New Zealand, we didn’t have fashion; we never got musical groups touring. It really was the end of the world. You had to make your own fantasy; there was nothing to feed it. I was obsessed with David Bowie, Lou Reed, Marc Bolan, Roxy Music, Andy Warhol. I wanted to be places they were.” — Tim Blanks, my favourite expat Kiwi, on why he left New Zealand. Things have clearly changed since then, but I'm still scratching my head about that election result. Nevertheless, Mr Blanks is walking, talking evidence that you can come from one of the smallest countries in the world and have an enormous impact on one of the hardest-to-break-into industries. I find that quite inspiring indeed.

5. During New York Fashion Week I interviewed Scott Sternberg from Band of Outsiders at the opening party for his first New York store. The moment I finished, I looked up, thanked him, and clicked save on my iPhone. Except I didn't click save, I clicked delete. So I lost the entire interview, just like that. Gooooood times. The one bit I do remember, though — I asked him what the best relationship advice he'd ever been given? His reply: "Run for the hills."

6. I never cook. But I just discovered a quick and easy recipe that I will no doubt thrash for the next two weeks before getting back to my non-cooking ways: Chop up some red onion, some cherry tomatoes, some green capsicum and some white button mushrooms, add salt and pepper, sauté the lot for a while, then add chicken mince-meat, and cook it all until it's not going to give you food poisoning. Eat it with Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard. Best thing ever.

7. Can't stop listening to Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order. "Every time I see you falling I get down on my knees and pray." Kills me.

8. My newly redesigned site is literally a day or so away from launching!!!!!

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#2619 Handsome Dan's, Nine-Year-Old Selvedge Denim, And Richard Biedul

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What a world, what a week, what a lifetime. First up, Handsome Dan. I mentioned Handsome Dan on the blog back in July of 2012, when he had just opened his namesake candy shop in Williamsburg — I used to visit him most days while walking to South 4th Street from the Bedford Ave subway stop; his store was a welcome pitstop on that 15 minute journey back home. (One does have to keep one's blood sugar levels up on a trek.) I haven't actually seen Handsome Dan since I moved out of Williamsburg 20 or so months ago, but he recently opened his second store on First Ave in the East Village where I live now. I walked past this week and saw that he was selling t-shirts alongside the candy, so I bought one, and it's my new favourite possession for two reasons: 1. It reminds me of old times; and 2. I get a 25% discount every time I wear it into the store. If you're reading this, Handsome Dan, Hello! I miss you.



Second, these jeans. Here's a fun fact: I have never owned a pair of intentionally distressed jeans (I have two pairs of all-one-colour stonewashed jeans —one from A.P.C. and one from Levi's — but that's different). I've even campaigned against other people buying intentionally distressed jeans, because I think they usually look ridiculous or try-hard or cheesy, but as with all things clothes-related, you should never say never, because it'll end up coming back and biting you in the butt. And here we are today.



I went to East Dane's one year anniversary party on Tuesday, and they were giving away insanely good swag — Miansai bracelets, Mexican cookbooks, and these 3X1 jeans that have been aged to resemble nine-year-old selvedge denim, complete with stitched-up holes and patches and everything. And I really really like them. Truth be told I don't take back what I've previously said about intentionally distressed jeans, but 3X1 don't seem to be able to do any wrong in my eyes, and I've been wearing these jeans every day since.



Finally, my mate Richard Biedul. I met Richard the morning after one of those absolutely traumatic life events where everything suddenly falls to pieces and you quite literally don't know whether or not you'll make it through the day, and he talked me off the ledge and helped me weather it and we've been close friends ever since. (Shout out Tom Bull for making the introduction.) Richie lives in London so we don't get to see each other much, but he's here this week for a job, so we've been catching up, and I cannot stress enough how important close friends are when you're living in a crazy hard place like New York City.


I think the moral of the story is that life is a lot sweeter with good candy and good friends. Good denim never hurts, either.

I'm wearing: Handsome Dan's t-shirt; Maximum Henry belt; 3X1 jeans; J.Crew socks; and Converse Chuck Taylors.

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#2620 How To Get Over Somebody When You Are Still Obsessed With Them

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Me in Paris.

Hey Isaac! I've been following your guide to moving on and it's been going well... except for one thing: My ex happens to be a former colleague (he's the one who left the company), and most of our colleagues know about us. I am reminded of him and our relationship every day because of the workplace and colleagues. How do I deal with this? Thank you!

Breakups are always fecking hard. I don't care who you are, what you do, where you work, or what the circumstances are, if you're truly in love with another human and you can no longer be in a relationship with them, then your life is going to feel impossible to maintain for an indeterminate amount of time.

Allow me to be honest, just to drum the point home. I've experienced a couple of fairly devastating breakups over the years, and here's a list, in no particular order, of ordinary-sounding things that would trigger a disproportionately hefty emotional response:
  • Seeing a sweater she might like that I couldn't tell her about
  • Bambina's Belgian biscuits
  • Chicken stir-fries
  • The song Thinking About You by Frank Ocean
  • The song Close To Me by The Cure
  • The song All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem
  • Meeting someone with the same name as the guy she dated after me
  • Hearing her name, no matter what the context
  • Catching the god damn bus
  • Thinking my friends might have seen her, even in passing
  • The subway station at Union Square
  • The French markets in Parnell
  • Anything to do with botox
  • Bright Eyes
  • Running into somebody who didn't know we'd broken up who quite innocently might ask how she is
What I'm trying to illustrate is that any little thing can set you off, regardless of whether or not you and your ex were former colleagues. If you're obsessing over your breakup in your head, you will literally find any reason to be reminded of your ex, because the masochist in you desperately wants to cling onto any memory, no matter how painful it might be.

I know for a fact — with 100% certainty — that The Isaac Likes Guide To Breakups will help you to get through your breakup, because in my life I have often done the opposite of most of the things on the list, and discovered the resulting emotional turmoil to be swift, severe and long-lasting.

So without further ado, here's a list of some particularly unhealthy things I've my friend has been known to do over the past 12 years of life that would consistently make me him feel like Gollum (after he's lost his precious):
  • Obsessively checking to see when she was last online on Whatsapp
  • Obsessively checking to see who she's just followed/friended on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook etc
  • Looking at her Instagram full stop
  • Putting up photos of other girls on social media in an attempt to make her jealous
  • Calling, just to chat
  • Asking friends about her, to make sure she's okay, i.e. KEEPING TABS
  • Sending her text messages at 3:00am or later
  • Going to parties where she'll be, only to lurk near the door and have a mild panic attack anytime any girl with the same colour hair as her walks in
  • Stalking her new boyfriend's social media
  • Talking about her to anybody who'll listen
  • Driving/walking particular routes just on the off chance there will be a casual bump-in type encounter
  • Flying halfway around the world to see her despite the fact that she's had a new boyfriend for six months
  • Spending hours every day reminiscing about the good old days
I read this Buddhist proverb recently that said something like this: The more you worry, the bigger your problem becomes. Put that into breakup terms, and I take it to mean that the more you think about your ex, the longer it's going to take you to get over him.

Take control of your mind. Put him out of your head. If a coworker mentions him, change the subject, or be blunt and say that you'd prefer not to talk about him. If a walk past the water cooler results in fond memories of those times you used to spend flirting with him at said water cooler, avoid the water cooler. Do everything in your power to avoid giving him anymore of your emotional energy.

This is one of those problems in your life that only you can solve. The better you behave, the quicker it'll be. The worse you behave, the more drawn out.

Which would you prefer?

Got a question you want answering? Ask me here!

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#2621 Deep Blue Something

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Me and Sid Ellisdon on 10th Street in the East Village. Photos: Anthony Urbano

As we all know, the fashion world as a whole, and menswear in particular, is obsessed with indigo. It's hardly a new obsession (I remember reading Nudie's denim catalogues — which called it "A living, breathing colour"— back in 2005), but this summer saw a proliferation of the blue stuff in all manifestations, from denim to t-shirts, and at a full spectrum of outposts, from the high-end designers to the chains like Uniqlo and Gap.


It suits me just fine because it's my favourite colour to wear, and there are so many different shades and hues on offer, that you can quite easily throw them together head to toe without thinking too much about it. So that's what I did here.


The t-shirt is from Uniqlo's Pure Blue Japan Project (a steal at $19.95). I bought it oversized then hot washed it, and it's fitting pretty perfectly now. Like with every single indigo thing on the market, the label advises against rubbing up against anything white at the risk of staining it with the living, breathing indigo, but I don't think that'll be a problem with this light blue. Knock on wood.


The sweatshirt is the first thing I bought when I moved to New York City. It was the height of the #menswear blogging moment, and I picked it up from Club Monaco for something ridiculous like $119. I would never pay that now for a cotton sweatshirt, but I'd just arrived, I needed something warmish for the fall, and I was so used to paying extortionate prices in New Zealand for everything that I probably thought I was getting a bargain.


The jeans are my Levi's 501s. I succumbed and got them tapered because the baggy legs were freaking me out a little too much. $50 later, they're pretty perfect, and I'm sure I'll wear them a lot over winter.


I like socks, a lot. So I bought a bunch off the J.Crew website the other night when I was home alone and bored — a bad combo when your feet are cold and your credit card is within reach. These ones are made from wool and they're decorated with a blue and cream fleur-de-lis.


And these are my mates Sid Ellisdon and Richard Biedul. [Cue white men can't jump joke here.]


I'm wearing: Uniqlo t-shirt; Club Monaco sweatshirt; Maximum Henry belt; Ray-Ban Clubmaster glasses; Levi's 501s; J.Crew socks; and Converse Chuck Taylors.

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#2622 The Ultimate Fall Roadtrip Playlist

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Photo: Tucker Vander Wyden
It goes without saying that the moment temperatures start dropping, you should stop doing whatever you're doing and focus all your energy on finding a warm body to keep you company for the cold months. Next, find a cozy log cabin somewhere appropriately picturesque — preferably surrounded by golden-leafed trees and a glassy lake — and get the hell of Dodge.

Click over to MYHABIT's blog theFIX for a playlist I put together for the journey.

It contains a fun combination of my favorite club bangers courtesy of Bobby Shmurda, Drake and Kanye, some sexy moments courtesy of Tinashe and Jhene Aiko, one incredible track off the equally incredible soundtrack from the brilliant new film The Guest, and an old faithful by Crystal Castles featuring Robert Smith which is bound to keep things feeling mad real.

"Cos it's cold outside... When you coming home?"

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#2623 So You Got Yourself Into A Casual Relationship, And Now You Want More

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Photo: Katherine Lowe
Anon asks: Hi Isaac, I have been dating this guy for about six months now. We have lots of fun together and really enjoy each other's company. The thing is he is moving overseas in a year and doesn't want to be in relationship so is just happy keeping things casual. I was happy about this at first but now I'm starting to want more. How do approach talking him about possibly making things more serious? and is it actually worth it being in a relationship with someone if they are moving away in a year?

While I do sympathize with your plight, I’m firmly of the opinion that casual relationships are a nightmare from the get-go, because one party will invariably want more and end up getting hurt. After all, what person can have a prolonged sexual relationship with another person and not get attached? We're not robots, people, we're people. I think it’s best to avoid these undefined sexual partnerships at all costs.

But since you’re already there…

MATE! You're your own worst enemy here. You knew the deal going into the relationship, you walked into it with your eyes wide open, but then your feelings changed, and now you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place because he’s been very clear about two things:

1. He's moving overseas in a year;

and

2. He wants to keep things casual.

As far as I can tell, you have four options:

1. Tell him that you want to move things up a couple of notches from casual to exclusive (but by doing so you run the risk of him saying no thanks because he thought that you guys both wanted the same casual thing out of this whole deal, and let's face it, who doesn't want to be able to have their cake and eat it too?);

2. Follow him overseas when he leaves so long as he wants you to go with him (but since he’s said he wants to keep things casual I fear he might not want that at all);

3. Keep things status quo (but this is clearly going to make you unhappy);

4. Break up with him.

See how none of these seem like extremely attractive options?

So with all that in mind, there's something else I want to talk about because it confuses me quite a lot, and I hear a huge amount of girls in New York talking about it all the god damn time:

How is it that you can get yourself into a situation where you're with a guy but you're worried about scaring him off so you never have the, "So... where are we going with this relationship?" conversation?

I understand that people enjoy the company of others, and that people love having sex. But who wants to constantly be wondering whether or not the thing they're in is legit?

Call me old fashioned, but if you're spending a lot of time with another person (like, at least two or three days a week), you're sleeping with them every time you see them, and they're the first person you invite whenever you're about to go do something, THEN THE TWO OF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Do you want that person who you're sleeping with two or three times a week to be sleeping with someone else? Probably not, unless an open relationship was agreed on from the outset (and we all know what I think about that), so why not lock those rules in place from the very beginning?

I can promise you right now that doing so doesn't make you needy or clingy or uncool or not able to go with the flow, it makes you a completely normal, ordinary human being, seeking a completely normal, ordinary thing (i.e. a boyfriend/girlfriend who you can trust with your heart... and your loins).

Any guy or girl who says otherwise or tells you that they don't want anything serious is more than welcome to go be casual with somebody else.

Life's too short. Why waste time with idiots who refuse to commit? But more importantly, why be an even bigger idiot who allows someone to treat them like that?

And that's all I have to say about that.

Got a question you want answering? Ask me here!

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#2624 Steinway Live From The Factory Floor, Featuring Elio Villafranca

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Me and Elio Villafranca at Steinway & Sons.

On Tuesday last week, I was invited to do something that I can quite honestly say I've never done before — take a tour of a piano factory. Not just any piano factory, mind you, but Steinway & Sons (which, to aficionados, is like the Rolls Royce of piano companies). I'd been asked there as one of the first ever members of the media to watch a Steinway Live From The Factory Floor performance, this time featuring Cuban jazz great Elio Villafranca. Steinway has been putting these private shows on for years — quite literally on the factory floor — for an audience of company staff, and nobody else. They figured it was time to open the doors to the public, and that's where I came in. Because crafting a piano is such a specific and technical procedure, many of the staff stay in the company for decades, and I'm told there are third and fourth generation employees in the mix. These intimate concerts are both a perk of the job and an opportunity for the workers to see the fruits of their labour, and it was touching to see how moved they were by Villafranca's performance. Check out the video and my disposable camera photos, below, and stay tuned (LOL) for more videos, and an announcement about the next show — there's going to be a giveaway for tickets.













Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Steinway & Sons.

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#2625 Brooklyn Tailors VS New Zealand Tailors

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Last Monday, GQ invited me to the launch party for their Best New Menswear Designers' collaboration with Gap, and I went along and did what any self-respecting human would do — tried on clothes while everybody else socialised and drank champagne and ate cheeseburger sliders.


Thanks to their near-daily blog posts and videos teasing the collab, I knew exactly what I wanted going in — the M.Nii corduroy sherpa coat — but when I saw it in the flesh I decided that the giant plastic buttons emblazoned with anchors were a little loud for my tastes. So I kept browsing.


What I landed on were the pants I'm wearing here, from Brooklyn Tailors' collection — they're high in the waist, long in the crotch, wide in the thigh, and narrow at the ankle (just how I like them), and at under $80, they practically saved me money because I usually have to take all my pants to the tailor to get the exact same finish.


Paired with this grey tweed jacket from New Zealand-based tailors Loft, the outfit has a real 1980s-take-on-the-1950s vibe which I quite like, not dissimilar to something Marty McFly might have worn in Back To The Future. It's probably the most classically conservative-American thing I've ever worn. Ohhh say can you seeeee by the dawn's early liiiiiiight...


I'm wearing: Loft jacket; Kamakura button-down; Hugo Boss 100% wool knit tie; Brooklyn Tailors pants; J.Crew socks; and Mark McNairy navy suede bucks.

Special thanks to Jenny Albright for taking the photos!

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#2626 Read This Before Cheating

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Film still from Disclosure, starring Michael Douglas and Demi Moore.

Anon asks: I have a conundrum. I love my boyfriend, we've been together six years and I can't fault him. Out of nowhere I've started freaking out that this could be the end of the relationship line for me. I've started thinking about someone else, someone we are both (not close but) friends with. Do I suppress it with all my might? Or do something else?

I think this is pretty normal. It’s like that bit in Old School where Will Ferrell’s character talks about how scared he is that he’s only going to see one vagina for the rest of his life. That’s a crass way of putting it, but it’s the same idea.

Because you’re feeling a little freaked out, it’s also completely normal to be taking a look at what else is out there that you might be missing out on. But as we all know, the grass is always greener on the other side, and absolutely nothing is as glamorous or sexy as it seems from the outside. Keep that in mind when you’re fantasizing about having a clandestine rendezvous with this other dude.

The thing about cheating is that it’s a conscious choice. To be blunt, you never just slip over and fall on top of a dick. You make an actual decision and effort to get to know somebody else, to flirt with them, to cultivate a sneaky little relationship, and then the further you go down that path, the easier it is for genitalia to appear and then: Whoops! You've made a mistake and had sex.

Put yourself in the shoes of your boyfriend who you’ve been together with for six years and who you love and can’t fault (your words, not mine). How would he feel if he found out about these thoughts you’re having? Worse, how would he feel if you actually hooked up with another dude? Imagine, then, how embarrassed and devastated and humiliated and emasculated he’d feel if that other dude was someone he’s friends with? The absolute absolute worst, I promise you.

Would you like him to do that to you? Probably not.

Have a serious think about whether or not you want to be in your relationship. If you do, stay in it. If you don’t, be brave and break up with him. But do not — under any circumstances — play with fire because I 100% guarantee that everybody will get burnt.

Got a question you want answering? Ask me here!

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#2627 The Sean Kelly Q&A

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Sean Kelly at New York Fashion Week, S/S 2015.
It's safe to say that Sean Kelly started from the bottom now he's here — by bottom, I mean Taranaki, New Zealand, and by here, I mean international recognition thanks to his starring role on this season of Project Runway. I first met Sean when he was volunteering as an usher at New Zealand Fashion Week back in 2010, but the 24 year old Kiwi has made some serious moves since then; halfway through his fashion design degree at Massey University in Wellington, he took off to Copenhagen to intern with Henrik Vibskov where he worked on the Paris and Copenhagen shows, before decamping to London, where he worked for Alexander McQueen drafting patterns and assisting in the lead up to the label's London Fashion Week show. "I just saw everyone leaving design school with the exact same piece of paper, and I wanted a different point of view," he says. "It ended up being the most educational year of my career so far — if you want to see the business and how fast the industry moves, you need to go to work." I sat down with Sean on Friday to talk Heidi Klum, Zac Posen, Nina Garcia and Tim Gunn, and how he feels about currently being the second most famous New Zealander in America, after Lorde.

How did you get from New Zealand to Project Runway?
I graduated this summer from Massey University in Wellington — majoring in fashion designer — and then I came to New York and worked in retail at A.P.C. to get some cash in pocket, and while I was applying for full-time jobs, I found the application for Project Runway on a website, and I didn't know if it was going to work or not because all my folio was menswear and it's a womenswear show, but I landed an interview with Tim Gunn and a guy called Dmitry Sholokhov who won a previous season, I was super nervous, they were filming it, my hands were so sweaty I was like a wet fish, it was totally unknown territory, but I got a really positive response from them, and then we had a lot of other castings and paperwork and I finally got onto the preliminary episode where we were judged by Zac Posen, Nina Garcia and Heidi Klum, and they liked what I did and I made it through.

What's Tim Gunn like?
He's amazing. He's really caring and he wants you to succeed, and not just on the show, beyond the show, too. The great thing about the show is that they're trying to prove your talent as opposed to making you look like an idiot just to make good TV.

And what are Heidi and Zac and Nina like? Did you get to know them?
Heidi is bubbly, she has a lively personality and she's very opinionated about what she likes and doesn't like; Zac is really sweet, he's a designer himself so if he calls you out on something he has a designer's point of view and his criticism is very constructive; and Nina has an editor's point of view which was the scariest to deal with for me, she's the toughest critic on everything.

What was the worst criticism you got?
I made this dress which I hated, and I came back the next day two hours before the show and chopped it in half, and I had a little bit of mesh fabric left over so I decided to make this little mesh top which goes with the skirt, and the judges thought the mesh top made the model look like she'd just had a breast operation and she still had the bandages on... And another time I had to make a 1970s themed outfit for this little girl, and I did a denim vest but it was lacking something, so in the last 10 minutes I decided to put a peace sign on the back, but I forgot that a peace sign has three legs, so I ended up making the Mercedes Benz logo, and nobody noticed until Heidi Klum told her to turn around and was like, 'Ummm... isn't that the Benz sign?' I just owned my mistake (laughs).

So you never fought with the judges?
You can get reprimanded pretty quickly. I learned pretty early on that these people are holding your fate, you don't wanna get on their bad side. I always wanted to be on everyone's good side, it's a highly intense environment, you're competing against people, it's a weird situation and you have to know who to trust, but it's better to play nice.

Where were you living?
Gotham West on the Hudson River, we had a view of the river and New Jersey in all its glory.

And where did you film?
Times Square. That was a beautiful experience, shooting right on Times Square for the entire summer. I kept telling the people who weren't from New York that this is not a fair representation of the city (laughs).

How isolated were you from the outside world?
100% isolated. We weren't allowed to take a walk outside without a production person being present, we had no computers, no cellphones, no newspapers or magazines, no money. It was a very intense and stressful time, whenever I had any down time I spent it trying to come up with new ideas for designs. It really tests your mental and physical limits. I've always been kinda independent, though, so that helped.

What was the biggest thing that had happened in the world that you missed while you were filming?
The Football World Cup. One of the previous seasons was filming when Michael Jackson died and they didn't find out until they got out, so that would have been pretty dramatic.

On a completely different tack, fashion is notoriously snobby, so are you at all worried that you might not get hired because you've been on a reality TV show?
I did consider that factor, but the opportunities that present themselves are yours to make on the show. I was never really scared of what was going to happen in the future, the opportunity to design in a format which was completely free was really great, it just adds to my portfolio. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of anything I did on the show, but of course it can work the other way if you act out on the show or make some really bad things.

Who do you want to work for?
Proenza Schouler, Thom Browne, Alexander McQueen or Henrik Vibskov are my first choices.

What are your favourite places to shop, eat, drink and hang out in New York City?
I like shopping in SoHo, even though I can't afford it 99% of the time. I love ACNE, but I wear Uniqlo most of the time (laughs). For food I love The Butcher's Daughter in NoLiTa and Pauly Gee's in Greenpoint, and I quite like going for a drink at this weird tiki-themed spot called Surf Bar in Williamsburg.

What are you listening to?
La Roux's new album is really good. But I listen to a lot of hip hop and rap, dirty pop, I just hit shuffle and let it play.

Final question: Has it occurred to you that you are potentially the second most famous New Zealander in America right now, after Lorde?
It's strange. I get recognised on a daily basis. I got stopped 11 times yesterday alone. It depends where I am. Brooklyn is a safe-zone, nobody has a TV (laughs). But If I'm anywhere in Manhattan, it's nonstop. It's mostly gays and moms. A lot of I love yous, a lot of marriage proposals via Twitter...

LOL. Do it.

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#2628 Apple Pickin' With Tom Bull

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My mate Tom Bull flew back into New York on Thursday after a couple of months in Sydney, and so to celebrate, on Friday we drove Upstate to an apple farm with the fine folks from Hudson Jeans and frolicked among the trees and hills and other miscellaneous countryside. As you can see, the months apart had been painful for us both, so to deal with the reunion-induced excitement we both felt but didn't want to admit to, we behaved like a couple of teenage boys and wrestled and made fun of each other and poured bags of apples over each other's heads. The moral of that story is that males never grow up. But would you have it any other way??







I'm wearing: Uniqlo sportcoat; Gant Rugger cardigan; Brooks Brothers Black Fleece shirt; Crane Brothers tie; Club Monaco pants; Clapham socks; and Meermin shoes.

Tom's wearing: ASOS suede jacket; other stuff.

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#2629 The Dog Days Of Summer

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Another week, another disposable camera. I shot this one around Alphabet City and Williamsburg (which, if you're not familiar, are two neighbourhoods that sit directly opposite each other on either side of the East River) over the course of a couple of weeks while the weather was still hot at the tail end of summer. Click below to see the street where I live, my new mate Baixiang Chen, my old mate Corinna Studier, a possible discarded bomb left over from WW2, a case of mistaken identity and a lovely view of Manhattan as seen from the banks of the East River.


Sunset hitting the abandoned school on 9th Street.


Corinna Studier and Baixiang Chen outside Casimir.


Dodgy gas tank on the banks of the East River.


A post-workout Georgia Fowler in Williamsburg.


Classic Lubo.


The view of Manhattan from Williamsburg.


Pamela Bernier by the East River.


My man Phil Sullivan aka Poseidon aka Zeus on the East River.


Richard Biedul rocking out.


And later that night, Richard Biedul at the GQ Best New Designers X Gap event looking a hell of a lot like John Moore from M.Nii.


Sid Ellisdon in Williamsburg.


On Avenue C in my new Alex Mill plaid shirt, all sad because Richie was leaving that night.

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#2630 Yes, Coach!

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You know one of the things that people often find strange about me is that I don't like domestic animals that much. If I had a dollar for every person who has ever told me, "Everyone who doesn't like dogs always loves my dog," I'd have about a billion dollars, and funnily enough, I've never loved any of their dogs. But like every good, patriotic New Zealander, I do love sheep. I love sheep running around on a farm, I love sheep's wool knitted into a sweater, I love sheep on my dinner plate, and I absolutely love a good shearling jacket. Despite the fact that shearling is — in my humble opinion — perennially cool, it's having a particular moment right now, meaning that just about every brand is showing it in some manifestation or other. This coat is by Coach, and it's one of my favourites of the Fall/Winter season. Yeah, it's $$$, but it's made from the hide of a formerly living animal, so y'know. If you want the look for cheaper, don't get faux shearling, that's wack. Scour eBay and see what you can find. I picked up something fairly similar for under $100.






I'm wearing: Coach shearling coat; Coach shacket; Old Soldier t-shirt; 3X1 jeans; and Mark McNairy navy bucks.

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#2631 Bloggers Take Central Park

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Filippo Fiori, me, Marcel Floruss and Filippo Cirulli in Central Park.
You know, a lot has changed since I started this here bloggy wog. Days are shorter, nights are colder, the ability to do this as an actual viable job has (thankfully) grown, and it's enabled a core crew of talented, entrepreneurial and innovative young people to traverse the globe. From the confines of your bedroom to the world, one blog post at a time. Who the GD hell would have thought it possible? Last weekend two of my favourite Italians (Filippo and Filippo of The Three F fame), one of my favourite Americans (Moti Ankari from The Metro Man) and everybody's favourite German (Marcel Floruss of One Dapper Street fame) got together to shoot a joint blog post in Central Park, because what better way to celebrate your mates than to collaborate with them all? Think of it as the United Colors Of Bloggoton... Or something. See below.













I'm wearing: Z Zegna coat, sweater and pants; Punto socks; and Meermin shoes. (Hair and makeup model's own.)

Almost all photos shot by all of us, but special thanks to Susie Lang for the additional group shots.

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#2632 So You Were The Other Woman... Now What

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Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
Anon asks: I recently ended an affair with this guy, I know it's the right thing to do but I have this fear that me being a (former) other woman will affect my future relationships. Like, I have this fear of being judged/rejected by this. I also fear that what has happened will keep me from trusting again. How do I deal with this? Thank you.

My mate has a new girlfriend, right? So I was asking him about her the other day, and he said to me, “If you knew how heavy her history was, you’d tell me to stay away.” I thought about that for a minute, and quickly came to the conclusion that if anybody knew the full extent of most of our relationship histories, they’d probably tell everybody to stay away from everybody else.

It goes without saying that knowingly being the other woman is a pretty dark way to behave, but like you said, you ended it, so now all you have to do is never do that again.

As far as your future relationships go, it’s entirely up to you when/where/how/whether you disclose your past errors of judgment. If you don’t want people to know about stuff you've done, don’t tell them. It's as simple as that. You're under no obligation to dredge up your sordid past, and in most cases doing so is probably a bad idea for everybody concerned.

If by some unfortunate turn of events people do find out and consequently judge you for it, then that's the price you'll have to pay for doing a shitty thing. If people write you off as persona non grata, then they're probably not people you want in your life anyway.

Trust is more difficult. Personally, I always find that I lose 100% faith/trust in relationships after a breakup and it usually takes me anywhere from six months to a couple of years to get over it.

I don’t see why you should treat this any differently than a typical breakup. Sure, he was clearly a dickhead and you clearly acted like a dickhead, but you shouldn’t let it destroy your faith in men, or dictate your future relationships.

We all make mistakes. Just try not to make the same mistakes more than once.

Take some time to get over it, then move on. (Read this, it might help.)

Got a question you want answering? Ask me here!

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